I've been worrying about my intro paragraph.
I'm not sure if it really grabs attention of the reader. I've tried revising it a couple of times but I'm just getting lost, so I thought I could post it up and get some opinions. I'd really appreciate your help!
Since the start of elementary school, many students remember the multiple practice sheets taken home to repeatedly copy the same word over and over again to remember not only how to write the words but how to spell them. Orthography, the study devoted and concerned with letters and spelling of a language. Spelling changed how people not only learned also how they interacted with each other. Orthography has impacted general education and society greatly, especially since the introduction of print, and has effected how knowledge is communicated, gained, and shared.
Two things:
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, the sentence:
"Orthography, the study devoted and concerned with letters and spelling of a language."
needs to be changed, it doesn't have a verb and feels sort of awkward. Also, the next sentence about spelling feels just a little out of place, maybe you could work it in better?
As far as being interesting and stating a point, I think you have done just fine. :)
I agree it flows poorly and feels stilted.
ReplyDeleteI would mention that it is convention to mention your support in the intro. It might help the flow a little if you did an inverted intro where you have the support and then the big thesis.